When to End It, When to Stay
Published with permission of the publisher, Lilipoh Magazine
Author: Alina Frank and Craig Weiner, DC
Article Source: LILIPOH
“When to End It or When to Stay” is a phrase that points to the dilemma and choice that many individuals and couples must face after living for years in a relationship that clearly has not been working. Some couples find themselves after years with tremendous silence and distance between one another. Others often find themselves in regular confrontations and arguments over the pettiest of details.
Something’s Gotta Give
Either way, individuals in these relationships know that something has to change, but they are not sure what that change looks like. Will s/he ever finally live up to the potential that they could be? Will s/he finally accept me the way I am? Does the best psychic see us in the future together or apart?
How do you know what the right choice is, for you for the both of you, especially when there is so much shared history? Is there a perfect relationship workshop, a magical couple’s therapist, or the best romantic vacation that will reignite the spark that was there when you first met? After all, the passion and friendship was once there! But perhaps it has slipped away while you’ve been busy raising children, changing careers, moving homes, following spiritual callings or living through the painful experiences of loss or betrayal.
The Lingering Effects
These experiences may have changed the very bedrock of your relationship so that you no longer recognize the light in the other person that you once saw so clearly. This see-saw dilemma affects most relationships at some point in its duration. most couples wonder what needs to change in order to re-establish joy and connection in their relationship. in a society where divorce is commonplace and relationship dissatisfaction is rampant, clearly something that should be a source of safety and nurturance is not working in this critical arena. While there is no single path or one correct answer that will be right for all couples, it is not up to other family members or friends to say what the fate of any one couple should be. no one outside of the two people involved can really know all the details of what happens behind closed doors. No one else can know for sure what is right for you.
Only you have the final say. Finding a way to know what your inner self needs is a journey that is critical for life satisfaction and finding inner peace and joy within a relationship. It has been our experience that there are some steps that can facilitate this journey, which can be fraught with pitfalls of behavior altering emotions, including frustration, anger, guilt, shame, disappointment, betrayal and more. Amidst these intense feelings, clear thinking is not always easy. Pain and disappointment can go on for many years and adapted to.
Staying Together for the…
People put up with unhappy marriages for many reasons: the children, financial security, the fear of being alone. The suffering that stems from relationship disconnection and a stalemate state of “should I leave or shouldn’t I” has a significant impact on the physical and emotional well-being of both people in the relationship. it can also have profound effects on any children living amidst the pain, whether they hear it expressed or not, they clearly feel it. it is our contention that remaining for a prolonged period of time in the indecision of “staying” versus “leaving” is a destructive choice that often does harm to a person’s self -esteem as well as to their partner and children.